rooooolllllll awwwt fuckers!!

first and foremost.. i am a fanboy. and there’s nothing sadder than a bunch of rich wise-asses grabbing a glorious comic book/graphic novel by the crotch, ripping it apart, burning it to a crisp, crapping on its ashes, and still making a gazillion bucks out of the pitiful bullshit they produced. yeah.. Hollywood NEVER got anything right.

the second installation of the transformers megamoney-making franchise is about to hit the silverscreen soon, and just like the other films on the genre.. they have no plans of getting it right. this is personal man, i love transformers to the bone and it’s just fucked up when they don’t do shit like they’re supposed to.

lookie here, this all started on the first movie:

   comic-book Megatron                  live-action Megatron

ANYONE SEE THE RESEMBLANCE?!! course you can’t! they fuckin’ murdered Megatron’s face in the movie. the gave him a face-trampled-by-the-stampeding-partygoers-wildly-flinging-their-arms-screaming-”Iittt Burnnnnnnssssss!!”-on-a-club-who-suddenly-burst-into-flames. that’s one ugly mug not even a mother can love. this blows ‘cuz Megatron kicks ass more than Prime (hooray for supervillains!!). the only thing they did right was to cast Hugo Weaving as Megatron’s voice.

oh, and one more thing you oughta know before you take your hippity-hoppity ass to the cinemas and watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. you see.. about the title, Revenge of the Fallen isn’t a collective term to pertain to the Decepticons who just had their asses handed to them by Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots gang on the first movie. it pertains to this guy:

who’s he? ya got that right, he’s The Fallen. one of the old-skool transformers created a long time ago, and turned out he was evil, was vanquished and got his sorry ass deported into a different dimension to suffer for all eternity, but has somehow made it back to exact revenge on everyone. when i heard he’ll be on the movie, i flipped out! seriously, i had pretty high hopes for this guy. i mean, look at him! he’s on fire for chrissakes! how cool is that?!

but once again, as expected, the geniuses of Hollywood didn’t fail to disappoint (or not disappoint) and thought he should look like this:

huh?! WTF?! was that even close?! aw c’mon!! he’s not even immolating! he looks like a cross between a decayed-egyptian-mummy and a cockroach-who-had-it’s-life-stomped-the-hell-out-of-it! heh. 

but wait there’s more, the let’s-ditch-the-comic-book-reference-and-create-our-very-own-ass-wipe-version atrocities doesn’t stop there. you may have wondered who the enormous-robot-who-runs-on-wheels-like-a-lunatic-unibike-rider is. you’re thinking this guy:

supposedly, he’s Devastator. a constructicon formed by 5 decepticons to create a hulking machine of pure destruction. it’s all good and jolly but there’s one problem, the real Devastator has legs.

look:

now that’s the Devastator i know and love, wreaking havoc using his trusty bipeds. suck on that Hollywood!

the sad thing is, whatever hardcore fans and fanboys of the franchise has to say, it doesn’t mean shit. why? they’ll just say it’s just BASED/ADAPTED on the comic book.. not a direct representation. which immediately gives them the liberty to screw with all the things that made it great.

well.. come to think of it with scenes like these..

..you just gotta shut the fuck up and enjoy the movie!!